"...his name was Matthew and he was an actor."

Actual Skype transcript from this afternoon between me and my friend in NY:

HIM: I made the first step as a father.  I just learned how to ride a two wheel bike.  Yes, prior to last week, I could not ride a bike 

ME: I can see you not being able to drive, as a NYer.  But you couldn't ride a bike? What happened there? 

HIM:  My dad wasn't the best teacher and in the end, we both gave up.

But thanks to our local bike shop and Matthew Modine, I can now ride the 400+ miles of bicycle paths that traverse this fine city. 

ME:  Do I even want to ask .... Matthew Modine?  Does he now work at the local bike shop? I swear I've seen him acting recently, but I guess he might have some down time ... ;) 

HIM: (HIM's wife) and I were walking through the West Village and we stopped by this local bike shop.  This guy came up to me and started to talk to me as if he were a salesperson. I told him that I couldn't ride a bike and then he proceeded to teach me.  We got to talking and he told me that his name was Matthew and he was a actor.  We told him that we had just moved from San Francisco and he said "I shot a movie in San Francisco called Pacific Heights where I was married to Melanie Griffith." 

ME: SHUT. UP.  (I was kidding about the down time.) 

HIM: Yeah.  When (HIM's wife) told him that she was from London, he said "Yeah, I was there for months shooting Full Metal Jacket. "  About ten minutes later, he introduces me to George, the bike shop owner, and I made plans to learn how to ride a bike from him.  So cool and kinda surreal. 

ME: So, seriously.  Matthew Modine is working in a bike shop.  Not some dude who looks like Matthew Modine and was totally fucking with you? 

HIM: No, it was definitely him.  When I asked the George the owner about it, he told me that Matthew is working a grass roots campaign called "Bicycle for a Day."  (By the way, on the way to the Bike shop one day, I walked past Paul Rudd, but I looked down so I wouldn't be caught staring.)  Here's a better site:  http://bicycleforaday.com/ 

ME:  Can I re-print this conversation, say, on a blog? 'Cause seriously?  That story is awesome. 

HIM:  OK.  Be sure to give a shout-out to "Bicycle for a Day"

Bringing back davenport.

I remain committed to some of my Midwestern terms out of habit (my vaccuum is a "sweeper," I wear "tennis shoes" instead of sneakers, even though I never play tennis.)  Still other words of habit are continued out of a bullheaded insistence that our word is the right one (such as:  that fine, sugary beverage will always be called "pop," which of course, can be procured from a "pop machine.")

And then there are the ones I dropped pretty quickly after I moved, because when I used them, it became really clear that no one else had any idea to what I was referring.  For example:  I don't know anyone else who refers to a winter hat as a toboggan.  I fought to keep that one for a while, but ultimately decided to let it go outside of my visits home, since people made fun of me for "putting a sled on my head."

There is one I dropped, but have increasingly been wishing I held onto more insistently.  I really want to bring back davenport.  For those not Midwesternly-inclined, davenport is used synonymously with couch or sofa, ala "come sit next to me on the davenport."  As I learned recently, a Davenport is a very specific type of sofa that is no longer made, and isn't actually another word for couch, as I've always used it.  (Don't judge - you probably call all tissues a Kleenex, don't you?) 

My case for bringing it back is simple:  1) It's an awesome word.  2) It reminds me of my grandparents, who were the two best people I've ever known (with whom I spent many a time on the davenport.)  3) You always read about those lost civilizations and languages and such that became extinct.  I figure I couldn't do anything about Old English, Ancient Greek, or any of these massive lists, but I can do my part to preserve various archaic Midwestern and Appalachian terms.  

I'm starting now.

Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear

Here's my recap of the Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear, supplemented by the text message conversation between myself and my friend in NY during the rally.

• HIM (9:28a, PST):  Are you currently rallying to restore sanity and/or fear?
• ME: If by "rallying," you mean "watching it in pajama pants" then yes. 
• ME: I really can't wait to see what else they've got in store.

I sat on my bed and enjoyed The Roots and John Legend for a while, which, though awesome, started to lull me back asleep.  In an ironic twist, the name of their new album together is Wake Up!  And it's really pretty great.  And then they wrapped up and Adam Savage and Jamie Hyneman appeared on stage. 

• ME: Yay - Mythbusters!  Love that show.
• HIM:  Good, they stopped with the wave.
• ME: Yeah ... Mythbusters should not be live. This is failing.
• ME: Though it is probably keeping everyone awake and engages.
• HIM: And warm.
• HIM:  This is lousy.  I"m starting the Rally to Restore The Roots.
• ME:  I'll have the co-rally to restore John Legend.  And then we can combine them.
• HIM: Thank goodness they're done.

In short, the Mythbusters guys were trying to conduct crowd experiments which involved a few variations of "the wave," as well as attempting to get the crowd to all jump at the same time to simulate an earthquake.  If I am making it sound exciting, I am describing it inaccurately.  But I think you got that from our text exchange.

John Stewart came out to greet the crowd, followed shortly thereafter by Colbert's emergence from a Chilean miner rescue pod.  (Yes, I just wrote that.)  And then the two of them, in some AMAZING sweaters, speak as only those two can together, followed by a benediction from Father Guido Sarducci, and ultimately, a Colbert poem read by Jack McCoy.

• ME: Tell [him's wife] there is shirtless Colbert.  I think it will make her happy.
• HIM: I will.  Now it's Steval Knieval.
• ME: I just realized I want an Evil Knieval jumpsuit.  I love when my dreams reveal themselves.
• HIM: LOL.  Biggest improv show ever. 
• ME: Father Guido - YAY! 
• HIM: I think he's the longest running SNL character in history.
  Colbert has more costume changes than Lady Gaga. 
• ME: Those pants ... just ... 
• HIM: This would've been funnier from Colbert himself.

Then, in what I can only describe as one of most amazing things I've ever witnessed, Yusef "Cat Stevens" Islam (Team Sanity) and Ozzy Osborne (Team Fear) performed dueling versions of "Peace Train" and "Crazy Train" to ultimately be ousted by the O'Jays, performing "Love Train."  If you didn't see it, it's worth the visit to YouTube.

• ME:  Colbert actually interrupted "Peace Train."  He's going to hell.
  O.K. This is awesome. 
• HIM:  This is great. 
• ME: Best. Mashup. Ever. 
• HIM: True.  I must say Ozzy & Yusef are pretty good sports. 
• ME: Yay!!! 
• HIM: Best Train Mix ever! 
• ME: And then they can leave on a Midnight Train to Georgia. 
• HIM: Tru dat!  I think Jon Stewart is the best Bar Mitzvah MC ever!

Colbert and Stewart offer up medals for fear and reasonableness, respectively.  Hard to say which was my favorite, since they all had merit, but special mention to the medal of Fear going to a 7-year-old girl in a diss on media outlets for not allowing their employees to attend the rally.  

There were a couple other musical performances, including duets from Jeff Tweedy and Mavis Staples, Kid Rock and Sheryl Crow, and awesomely, Stewart and Colbert.

• ME: My fave odd couple of 2010 (referring to Tweedy/Staples)
• HIM: She should join Wilco.
• ME: I know it's a pipe dream, but they need to bring on Corddry and Helms.
• HIM:  You never know.
• ME: As long as they don't sing that shitty "Picture" song, I'm fine. (referring to Rock/Crow)
• HIM: I hear ya!  Bruce isn't on tour, why isn't he there?
• ME: To quote you, you never know.

Then it was time for the keynotes, which started with Colbert showing frightening media images.  For every "type" Colbert was scared of, Stewart presented something to counter him.  (ala: Kareen Abdul Jabar = non-scary Muslim, R2D2 = non-scary robot) 

• ME:  Impodiumed.  (this may be my new favorite Colbert word)
  Another dream just revealed itself - John Oliver as Peter Pan. 
• HIM: This is great!

And then came the true keynote, delivered fantastically by Jon Stewart.  I'd give a summary, but here's the whole thing, because it's worth seeing in its entirety:  http://www.americanrhetoric.com/speeches/jonstewartsanityrallykeynote.htm

Jon was followed by our World Series opening act, Tony Bennett, singing "God Bless America,"  which was then followed by everyone uniting on stage while Mavis Staples sang her classic, "I'll Take You There."

• ME: Tony's everywhere this week.  And that's not bad.
• HIM: It ain't Bruce, but at least he lives in Jersey.
• ME: Yeah ... sorry.
• HIM: Great speech!
• ME: It really was.  I want to go back to sleep, but also feel like I should get up and be productive in the world now.  Damnit.
• I love this song. 7 year old girl doesn't know this song.
• HIM: I'm really liking the Mavis Staples renaissance.

 Choose sanity.

This one goes out to my new niece.

Happy birthday, Gracie girl.  Welcome to the world.

(Her details are here.  Photo is here.)

When the lights go down in the cit-ay ...

I am often really happy I moved here.   

This is one of those times.

Disneyland - You Can Do It All!

I find that when you are exhausted from gallivanting around for a couple months, the best thing to do is make a whirlwind road trip to the Magic Kingdom to feed that exhaustion.  

So, with that, I drove to G's house at "as close to 6a as I could" Saturday morning and we set off for Anaheim.  Turns out we're pretty good road trip companions since we're both amused by similar things.  Having just made a solo trek to Southern CA a month before, I think it's probably preferential to not go it alone, if only so someone else can see what I act like on a road trip when I'm slap happy.  

We set out ... to breakfast.  Nothin' kicks off a road trip quite like an egg McMuffin.  Speaking of things that amuse us, the McD's we patronized turned out to have a double lane drive-thru, setting off a series of "double drive-thru - all the way - what does it mean?" interpretations.  (If you have (somehow) never heard the double rainbow guy, just know you need to hear it at least once to truly understand the term "trippin' balls."  Shortly after hitting the road, G first uttered the phrase "we're gonna do it all!" which I would hear several times that weekend, always accompanied by "the jazz hands of dreams."  (There's no way to describe it - just ask me when you see me.)  

I'd never been to Disneyland during a Halloween season, so I was really looking forward to seeing the park decked out (especially the transformation of the Haunted Mansion into the Haunted Mansion Holiday, where Jack Skellington was now holding court.)  In preparation for the holiday, I bought a shirt that said "Happy Halloween" to wear to the park.  G didn't believe me, but I earnestly bought it so that people who passed by me would read it and know someone was wishing them a good holiday.  (That's my story, and I'm stickin' to it.)  I also bought some Halloween socks with little candy corns and ghosts on them, but those were for me.

Anyway, before I get to the park highlights, here are a few of the highlights from the drive to and from Anaheim.  (Warning:  This stuff seemed funny enough to write down as it was happening, but after a little rest, I don't know which of them will actually hold up.)

• We saw our first of several signs for a corn maze shortly after getting onto Highway 5.  And immediately, I became very excited and exclaimed "Corn Maze means Corn Corn!"  (I realized Maize Maze is more accurate, but Corn Corn was the first thing I shouted.)  And I periodically punctuated conversations with exclamations of Corn Corn! for the next 5 hours. 
• On a related note, while contemplating whether or not we'd get to go to a "Corn Corn" on the trip, I wondered what the hours were for one of them.  And then, for some reason, decided the hours were pretty open because "corn grows at all hours."  (I can't believe I actually said that.  Or wrote it down.)
• (While discussing a former co-worker who coincidentally showed up ALL THE TIME when doing promotions with a particular band) G said, matter-of-factly, "It's much easier for you to get your mouth around a penis if you're in the same room."  To which I replied, "Yes.  Proximity is very important for blow jobs."  Someone needs to put that on a bumper sticker and give me the royalties.
• At our first gas stop, G bought us each a Barack Obama commemorative plate at the gas station, for $2.99/apiece.  I think that's a fair value.
• Whenever I drive/go through the Grapevine and/or Tejon areas on Highway 5, I always yell out, "Grand Tetons!"  And it's more fun to say Grand Tetons with a French accent.  I wonder if I will yell this out if I ever get to the real thing in Wyoming.
• The Petro Stop (an exit not far from the Grand Tetons) has the most amazing spinning rack of Jesus-themed, logo-spoofing shirts I've ever seen.  Like this and this.  And before you go accusin', I'm not making fun here.  It's an amazingly audacious collection that needs to be seen.
• G thinks Falco's "Der Kommissar" is better than After The Fire's version "because of the accent."
• G has a Zune MP3 player.  I had a lot of trouble operating it, and it turns out it doesn't respond when you gesture to/yell at it.  I think I'll stick with my iPod.
• There were a few billboards for the "Mummies of the World" exhibit at the California Science Center as we passed L.A. and neared Anaheim.  "Mummies of the World" is fun to sing to the tune of "Spice Up Your Life."
• Our new potential karaoke songs will be "Ride Like the Wind" and "Ya Mo Be There." 
• When G first heard the opening bass line for "Turn Me Loose" by Loverboy, she said, "Sounds like some sex is about to happen."  I'd never really thought about it, but yeah, it does kinda sound like that.

We finally reached the park around 1:00p and headed inside to "do it all!"  G is a Disneyland veteran, so she (smartly) directed us to Space Mountain to get a FastPass as soon as we got there.  Whoever started this "Fast Pass" thing?  Genius.  We worked that system successfully for the rest of Saturday and Sunday.  We hit up nearly everything we wanted to do in Disneyland (where I'd been before) and California Adventure (where I had not.)  It's a tough call to say which were my favorites, because I'm an enthusiastic kid at amusement parks and really do love all of it.  But if I have to pick, I'll go with The Haunted Mansion Holiday for Disneyland, just because it looked so badass, and for California Adventure, I've gotta go with Muppet Vision 3D, which isn't even a ride, but I love me some Muppets.

Other highlights from the visits (again, besides everything):

• The adult size of the Mickey ear hats doesn't fit my huge noggin, unless I wear it at the back of my head like a Disney yarmulke.
  
• I did purchase an awesome Nightmare Before Christmas fedora that probably needs to be a bit bigger, but fits nonetheless.
• I spotted the most awesome winter hat EVER (this one here) which G bought.
• There were TONS of SF Giants fans at the park, yelling out "Go Giants!" in a Tourettes-like fashion, particularly around Big Thunder Mountain.  (?) There's less NorCal/SoCal animosity than I thought.  Or, those were all NorCal people being celebratory/trying to be dicks.
  
• Anytime we'd be on a ride with a tunnel (Thunder Mountain, Matterhorn, Space Mountain), when we'd enter the tunnel, I'd yell out "It's so incredibly black!" (from this) followed by G yelling out "Darknesses!" (from this)  It never got old.
  
• When G's friend flaked on giving us a place to stay (at about 12a after we left the park Saturday), we learned that there were a bunch of conventions in town so there was no mas cuartos anywhere.  When we finally did find a place to stay several miles away at about 2a, G inexplicably starting singing "Jesus Take the Wheel" to help us find the way into the hotel parking lot.
• I cashed in my 2 day/2 park ticket for an annual pass, so I'll be back at least one more weekend in the next year.

We just saw The Social Network.

As you've heard from everyone else who saw it already, the acting is great and the script is fantastic.   I love Aaron Sorkin's words and I'll probably go home tonight and watch Sports Night for the umpteenth time so I can hear more of them.  

The movie also reinforced some of the reasons I've never joined Facebook.  Then again, Sorkin summed up a smidgen of that on Colbert last month when he said, "Socializing on the Internet is to socializing what reality TV is to reality."  (I'm not up for a discussion of Facebook's merits and evils right now.  Maybe I'll be down for that another time.)

But on an unexpected side note, within 10 minutes of leaving the theater, after discussing our impressions of the movie, we started chatting and out of that, had the framework for our idea for a website.  And then we sat out in a bar courtyard and sketched it out for an hour.  It's really too bad neither of us has a lot of time to make this happen (or is a programmer) 'cause we really like our idea.  We'll see where that goes, if anywhere.  It would be funny to launch a successful site and then share that the impetus for it was born after seeing that particular movie.

"You know no one in the band plays the ukeulele, right?

As I do most days, I just asked my co-worker if she had any musical preferences for the day, since I was getting ready to fire up my iTunes.

Having seen many Punch Brothers videos since late summer (I like to share), she asked, "How 'bout those 5 cute young guys with the ukuleles?"  

This is tremendous for many reasons, one of which being that none of them actually plays the ukulele in the band as far as she's ever seen.  (Though I'm sure that with their assorted music super powers, all of them are actually ukulele aficionados.)  

Second, now I'm trying to imagine a band of five comprised of only ukulele players.